TEABAGGING by Dennis Doph

out there. 13

In the Dover pension of Richard Mellon Scaife
Reactionary citizens are blogging for their lives
Dredging up emotions both explosive and naif
Triggering loose bowels and a sturdy case of hives
Teabagging is the Far Right spectator sport
Even if these sturdy citizens can barely understand it
For all Obama-isms to torture and to thwart
Their practice of teabagging can only over- and underhand it

In Texas Rick Perry threatens summary secession
forcing a new border fence in sunny Oklahoma
Fox News enhances crowd size with its usual aggression
John McCain has just popped forth a brand new melanoma
Teabaggers everywhere reject and loathe the Stim
Dyed-to-match Eric Cantor has become perplexed and gray
All these bewildered legions from Her to Her to Him to Him
And their theme song is, predictably, Let the World Go Away.

In Minnesota Michelle Bachmann's twisting in the wind
Spewing bile and pus as she roasts like Joan of Arc
Arm-wrestling Neo-Nazis have their furry forearms pinned
Captain Teabag (Glenn Beck) is just whistling in the dark
All about America Teabaggers roil in desperation
Boston Backbay aristos kiss up to White Supremacists
In Nashville and Sacramento they project a Teabag Nation
While super-patriot anthems are topping all the lists

Meanwhile, in this outback of Bluestate Liberal culture
Myself and Rachel Maddow are giggling like mad
The American Blew Eagle has turned into a vulture
These babbling shambling acolytes just yearning to be had
What is Teabagging? In most understood gay passion
Teabagging is something quite outre and out of place
Though licking crotches and banging butts are the usual gay fashion
Teabagging is when some dude's testicles are smack upon your face!

So let's see some Teabagging Rick Perry and Ms. Bachmann
Let's not let handsome Eric Cantor be a sexless schlub
Let's all unzip our bull balls like MSNBC's Eight O'Clock Man
Feign an appetite for testicles and ...

GLUB! GLUB! GLUB!