FEAR ITSELF by Dennis Doph

out there. 6

The only thing to fear is fear itself
Said FDR in a moment of doubt and pain
Then Eleanor showed up with her WAAC lieutenant
Things were never the same for Franklin again

I spend a lot of time with my inchoate fear of fear
Causing me to take baby steps instead of giant ones
I should be pushing the used-to-be to Here
All the gestures I make should be defiant ones

Still I hesitate on a quiet city street
When I see a 35-year-old dude on a skateboard
His child-like life will be incomplete
Till he has run me down
(boy-men call this SCORED)

Fearful of women texting while they're driving
Sending recipes for cobbler while they turn the corner
My ripe (too German) corpse might be arriving
at the local morgue without a mourner

Fearful of the silly sports-made gradeschool kids
Who pursue their soccer balls over my backyard fence
My fear quotient rises then hits the skids
Making me bilious and hypertense

Fearful of those moose-slaughtering right-wingers in Alaska
Who congregate under the Thatchery wing of Sarah P.
Fearful of gay-bashing eskimos in Athabaska
Who would love to make a Prussian scarecrow out of me

Fearful of the doughty president of Gambia
Who swears he would (legally) cut off all our heads
Of all the Islamic freaks who're now determined
To slaughter gay men and lesbians in their beds

I'm fearful of the threat of all disease
Fearful of the cawing of the stork
I shy away from any or all who tease
Fearful of the steroid bulk of Mickey Rourke

Fearful of the old fuck I suddenly see
in the silver mirror of my bathroom wall
Fearful of the blood I sometimes pee
while I stand naked in the shower stall
Fearful of the white hairs among the red
while I silently examine my naked self
Fearful of being alone in bed
Most of all, I'm fearful of myself

I wish I could be hopeful -- terminating all this grief
Pushing into the Brave New World of B. Obama
Even fearful of the stark relief
Even a Drama Queen fears a new drama!

So teach me something confident to say
While I learn this Brave New Role I have to play
Perhaps I might not feel so strange and queer
If I could stand up and conquer all this fear