SOMEWHERE OUT THERE by Dennis Doph

Somewhere out there
beneath extinguised studio Kleig lights
Norma Shearer and Bob Montgomery
kicking back their Noel Coward nights
Throwing off suspicions that reduced them
to juicy movie trash
Remembering how much fun it was to make
Whiplash

Somewhere Jimmy Cagney is intruding
in some hoodlum's fate
Firing six tight shots through the boot
of a smart Buick 8
Sniffing round to find in which bed
Mayo has been lyin'
Freaking out homoerotic subtext
with sweating Edmond O'Brien

Somewhere east of Palo Alto
Shirley Temple is still counting that Fox gold
From all those kiddie movies made in days of old
From a devastating tot she became
an irritating teen
And for calling her a nymphet she sued
poor culpable Graham Greene!

These celebrities forever famous in the mix of fate
Doomed to live electronically way past their sell-by date
Fred and Ginger dancing Dropping feathers
who among us would not agree
To watch them mixing class and sex
popping in yet another Blu-Ray DVD

Marilyn on her frances stroking precious bitchboy
Monty Clift
Taking deep breaths to make her famous D-cups
separate and lift
Making Gable and Eli Wallach and Thelma Ritter
do the splits
In the cause of broncho-busting bosom-worshipping
Misfits

Rita Hayworth basking on something resembling
Martinique
Making Bob Mitchum and Jack Lemmon grab their balls
and shriek
Rita had that picture and her legacy down to a T
When she said,
"Armies of men have marched over me".

Mitchum (again) pursuing Jane Greer to her doom
Heating her up and dismissing her:
"Hey! I have to sleep in this room!"
Even though Jane had sultry sex appeal the very mostest
Mitch was right when he said:
"Not everyone is completely bad. But she
comes the closest".

My childish heart pounded madly for each and every star
Especially ones who pistolwhipped each other
in the fantasy of film noir
Rita and Mitch and Jane Greer will for us forever last
Sharing their lust in an electronic bubble
Out of the Past.

Somewhere out there Ann Dvorak shows off
her boyish breast
While Paul Muni (incestuously) clutches her
to his hairy chest
Somewhere Angie Lansbury refuses to play
an unwilling third
Wandering through paper snowdrifts
Singing "Little Yellow Bird"

Somewhere Bing and Bob are still mushing down
that frozen Road to Utopia
While W C Fields leads poor Franklyn Pangborn
deeper into male myopia
Somewhere Gene Kelly still waxes muscular and male
refusing each complex carb
While Judy regards the Love of Her Life
and drops another phenobarb
As Kelly panders Mitzi, Kay Kendall, and the Finnish Taina
to us as luscious showgirl whores
Their dancing, stylishly prancing proves more exciting
than all indoors
The four of them live the lush life of lascivious George Cukor
And inveigh us to participate in each exciting
"Ca, C'est, l'amour".

I'm steeped to the gills in film history
this evening, like as not,
I'll steep myself in homoerotic fantasies
of Budd Boetticher and Randolph Scott
Somewhere out there another package from Amazon
is addressed to me
Inviting me to get my rocks off
on one more classic DVD!