CRASHING THROUGH THE BRUSH by D.Doph

beyond beyond . 63

We fall in worship of fair Sarah Barracuda
Legions of loyal Alaskans have told us to
Knowing no woman in shoe leather could be cruder
or more in need of "Taming of the Shrew"
She's up at dawn brandishing her AK-47
Thrashing through mud and sleet outside divine Wasilla
Lusting for caribou anguish (puts her right in heaven)
And moose blood -- a real, authentic killer-diller
And ... WHAM! WHAM!
She and her lusty brethren breathe the scent
of frightened moose in the first light of Arctic dawn
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
emblazons their intent
To slaughter every animal they might chance upon

Meanwhile, back in the loins of Greater Metro Wasilla
Hubby Troy polishes all his wife's extra rifles
Watches lustfully as the Ice Hockey King trifles
with ever complaisant equally lustful Bristol
Fuck, man! That redneck hunk is one real pistol!
The other two bumpkins change and burp the feckless brat
with no more intelligence than a baby cat
But, to our immense and fiery indignation
His state has become a catchphrase for this entire nation

Indeed!
We might all model ourselves after this little gnome
We might all indeed be suffering from Down's Syndrome
Aching to elect a woman who doesn't know from squat
Where the only consideration, really, is her twat
All through Alaska there's no more gravid a ratcatcher
As she invokes the ghost of Margaret Thatcher
And, as rotor blades roar out across the Arctic Circle
She longs to trade ripostes with angry Angela Merkel
For, she's been told, in some unknown place that's known
as Yurrup
She might well get her party dress caught in some strange stirrup

So Sarah Barracuda cozens all her dumb dependents
Crashing through the brush -- along with all the man-boys
seeking Alaskan independence
She and her mighty men can give us all a whack
While her putative son-in-law mingles some grass
with Nomic crack
And, for the sake of wanting most to please us
Before they shoot the moose they all kneel down to Jesus
Praising Fair Alaska and her Son's to heaven's skies
Hoping that Arctic Circle sun will burn like hell
As John McCain's carcinoma multiplies