SIMPLISTIC SARAH by Dennis Doph

beyond beyond . 62

It's Simplistic Sarah Tall and slim
Very much a Her and not a Him
The new puddle of moose poop that stupe John McCain has stepped in
Pretty as the Borden Cow
Never wondering Where or How
and she is ineluctibly (and productively) Vanilla
She's an ice hockey Mom
And she was queen of the prom
In disturbin' suburban Alaska (Wasilla).

She's a Fundamental Christer
with ALASKA on her Keister
Giving steamin' beamin' John McCain a vote of thanks
A suburban soccer moll
Who hates the metropolitan sprawl
of anxious Anchorage and fair Fairbanks

The Governor's Conference in PA
One swift trip to Se-Do-Nay
Are all the knows (or cares) of the Lower 48
She gets a huge amount of fun
as an NRA Top Gun
and there's never been a dead moose she would hate

Loves destroying the animal population
In her ferocious Arctic nation
Can't wait to start drilling the chilling Bering Sea
Her love for guns is miltaristic
But her primary characteristic
is her verve (right on the nerve) of Evangelistic Christianity

Never been to New York or even Seattle
Her greatest diplomatic battle
Is gazing across the Bering Strait to great
Siberia
As she's shooting from her stirrup
There's a chance that all of Europe
to her, is one totally unknown mysteria

So: Say hello to Sarah Palin
New Number One Gal Pal in
the woman-hating wilderness of the Republican Right
There's no question why McBush
Took this opportunity to push
This amazing Chippy-Cheep for Veep.
Man! Her plumbing is sooooooooooooooooooooo tight!

So to all you Hillarymaniacs
Anti-Barack insaniacs
Here's the new breed of Maggie Thatcher who'll give us her best shot
She can flaunt her sole endowment
What a deep Alaskan plow meant for this role:
a pre-menopausal twat.

Joe Biden's fifty years
with the little Beltway dears
Can be dismissed with a peremptory shrug
Sarah Palin has it all
As their Christian Party Doll
with her matching china .... her virtuous Vagina
and her fertile pubic rug

We wonder if this juicy jerk'll
Go ten rounds with Angie Merkel
But she sure has Bay Buchanan tootin' ... and deeply rootin'.
From her frozen Juneau shoal
can she (like GWB) look into the soul
of sinister Prime Minister Vlad Tutin?

Oh Ignorance! Your innocence is such sweet bliss
When confronted with simple souls such as this
As she thrusts her pubing son "Track" into Iraqi cry and hue
And sits back with McCain for a tasty helping of moose stew