in OLD Arizona by Dennis Doph

beyond beyond . 64

Under the soft red hot Arizona sky
Cindy Hensley was the queen of Phoenix Princessi
Bullied the servants till they called for Quits
Gave her elder sisters conniption fits
Her Dad Sherm Hensley loved her almost to death
As he covered her with affection and denture breath
Cindy was much more than a shrew and a scold
for Cindy was hung up on everything OLD

Cin was never exactly lacking in class
Like the way she cut her sisters off at the pass
Refused to recognize 'em while Dad was in his coffin
Went lookin' for somethin' OLD to be boffin
Before Amtrak pulled out of the Phoenix yards
Cin cut off her sisters' credit cards

Rah! Rah! Cindy and Rah! Rah! rowdy
You could never say Cindy was dull or dowdy
She could never be described as sizzling tail
Had a mouth like a slot intended for mail
Went about Phoenix dispensing cheer
'Cause Dad had a corner on Arizona beer
And in the barrooms of Phoenix Cindy huddled
Because needed to be Dad-coddled and cuddled

Then from across the bar Cin was totally poleaxed
God threw Cindy's switches and the Holy Ghost faxed
A message to Cin our Principessa Star
About the very short guy across the bar
Old enough to be Dad and then some more
Soon our heroine was acting like a tough little whore
Even though his wife Carol was universally respected
Cin soon had his tiny little dick resurrected

Yeah,
She fucked John McCain out from under his wife
Prepared to set him up in a rich kind of life
Was her wedding expensive? Well, I'd say very
Because beer in Arizona is so necessary
She set her Hanoi hero up as a congressperson
Soon she had three blond babes to be sucklin and nursin
But Dad's Mob connections made all these pickins clean
And John's two grown boys signed on
to the Phoenix Beer Machine

Swirl, swirl, Cindy in your Beerleader skirt
Though John left you alone so much it would hurt
She knew this Old Dad was a ruff kind of man
Soon she started overdosing Percodan
Even though she no longer was regularly boned
She learned how much fun it was to be totally stoned

So while John upped and upped from the House to the Senate
Superblond Cin learned how to take all these gentlemen at
their word; and as she grew angular and Nancy Reagan thin
She started idly wondering about the shape this world is in
Though her beer bonanza was really funded and run by the Maf
There's never enough brew for Arizona to quaff
So she turned a blind eye to each Macher and Greaser
and flew off to India and Mother Teresa

Even though she never met the Guru personally
Soon Phoenix was filled with stories of how the truth ought to be
She brought back from Pakistan a bundle of joy
McCain didn't have much to say but Oh, God! and, Oh, Boy!
So she added Bridget to her kiddie stables
And sat her family down at nine different tables
Though Cin was a dominant kind of a bitch
What she really was was filthy rich

When John began threatening Dubya-Dub
Karl Rove cut John out of the Presidential Club
They cut John out of the Carolina margin
Claiming the Old Boy had been through Pakistan
sexually chargin
Cin was so charmed by this Rovian bloke
She took herself away with a tiny little stroke
even though a cerebral accident is kind of a bummer
She acted just like the old babe in Suddenly Last Summer

Now she's shakin' But Cin will never be breakin'
On every GOPodium she'll regally stand
Wanting to be the Queen Brewski of the land
Dispensing largesse, dissing all that's queer
Encouraging everyone to drink Arizona beer
Standing straight and tall Glistening with carats
endlessly discursing the possible merits
of that imponderable Alaskan trailer trash
While this whole show is sponsored
by Mob and Brewski cash

Cindy rocks! So let the Old Babe gleam just a bit
Before she falls down in another Percodan fit
Living in all those neighborhoods socially restricted
It's no kind of crime to be chemically addicted
Addicted to chems Addicted to power
Set up to be the next Mamie Eisenhower
In this world of fools and Alaskan fool's gold
It's no sin to be addicted to everything OLD

Old Cindy! Old stepsons! And old, old John
This Presidential Slate has been written upon
As Cindy sets her Slot and, as a nine house owner
Tools her Hummer into the dust of Old Sedona
Looking like a ringer for Cissy Goforth
While the Alaska Barracuda rises like thunder
in the North