THE DEAD LEADING THE DEAD: Dennis Doph

because why? 34

My neighbor Lily Ann Astroturf Teabagger of great zeal
Has found new ways to dis the Commonweal
Hosting a putrid Teabagging site at fair Goleta
Promising any Right-Thinking Stud could meet a
Royal Clutch of screamin', fumin', rank No-Sayers
Stopping their screamin' only for coffee
and heartfelt prayers
So Lil invited me to their screamin', fumin'
No-Sayin' scarf
Knowing my first response would be to barf

She led off with a fusillade of invitees
Guaranteed to putrify the hot Goleta breeze
First she had the Foxster known as Glenn Beck
Sobbin' for Days of Old. A tearful wreck
Tryin' to grab his dangling empty balls
Bouncing his punkin head against the walls

Next came Virginia Fox of faggot-busting lore
Hoping to tread where no old broad had gone before
Little suspecting that in Goleta
(which most have come to hate)
Virginia has tar and feathers as her fate

Then plastic-wrapped sweatsoaked Limbaugh known as Rush
Still masturbating with his Bible for George Bush
Spreading Obama-hate around in noxious ripples
flaunting the C-clamps on his nipples

Then studly Sarah from Alaska tall and fair
Pausing to brush conditioner into her hair
Trolled behind by Hubby that boss Esquimeaux breed
Making all wonder where she found that gravid seed
Spreading her thighs to drop
another brain-damaged child
behind the podium -- see?
And for her breakfast of fresh-killed moose,
four tabs of Immodium-D

Guest of Honor is the new GOPster star
Riding tall and proud in a classic Model A-type car
Jim Wilson with cheeks of alcoholic flush
attitude of apple pie
Living to scream like the Oldest Living Confederate Hero:

You Lie!

And while the screaming rises to a fever pitch
I get down on my belly in some foul Goleta ditch
Waiting for this putrefyin' Flesh Circus to pass
Hoping to trip Lily and throw her down on her flat ass
...as I did for Ann Coulter -- that sexless Liberal-busting tart
I'll plunge an old Spanish fencepost into
what passes for her heart
I'm sure the Wingnut Ideal is Vampiric: this much said
I'll crouch in my comfortable ditch
And watch the Dead leading away the Dead