ASTROTURF by Dennis Doph

because why? 27

Behold the Monster Mavin who plays
the Schmoo or even the Schmurf
Those classy Big Debaters
Now known as Astroturf
They gather at the country clubs
Scrubbing each others' boots
Then when they down their gin martinis
They call themselves Grassroots
And off they go in their Beemers
Intestines ejecting Gastro
But the only Turf they represent
Is unconditionally Astro

They squint through their bifocals
To decipher "Patriot Blogs"
And huddle down with another gin
In front of their Presto-Logs
What the "Patriot Blogs" seldom disclose
At benefit of first glance
Is that pharmaceutical companies
Are the ants in these old pants

So they have given up Teabagging
But, with a shout of "All for One!"
They're in blood pursuit like Theodora the Beaut
or their hero Attila the Hun
And for any Democratic congressperson
Who pursues the healthcare dream
These Astroturfers come on like rabid surfers
And scream and scream and scream

So where are Robert's Rules of Orders
And where is considered debate
When they're all fired up like some rabid pup
for another session of hate
So let Palin pump to be paranoid
And let Grassley jump this bus
Let the few moderate GOPs
Run a case of the mopes
With this twist: FASCISTS R US