I DREAMED by Dennis Doph

because why? 51

I dreamed I found myself in bed with Dana Andrews
His mouth still over-frothed with Gene Tierney lust
Had no problem substituting my face for Gene's pussy
And my hairy pecs for Gene's insufficient bust

Dana passed me over to his brother Steve Forrest
Giving Steve a kiss on his blond bodybuilder neck
Steve took a bite out of my red Kraut ass
then passed me over to Monty Clift, who hollered:
"..............dreck!

I was expecting Rock Hudson in my narrow trundle bed
Having pried himself away (again) from my pal Liz-a-Beth
And though your cock is only half as large as his
At least you'll never be accused of having the Dick of Death"

So Monty took his time going down on me
Sucking saliva through his meaty chops
Rubbing his hairy gorilla chest against my thighs
Fantasized about whether I should call the cops

And yell, "Rape! Rape!" for all the sexual outrages between
a rock and a hard place. In my feverish phantasm
I am molested by these hearties at Age Nineteen
Giving Dana, Steve, and Monty my carnal spasm

Left Gorilla Monty still rutting in his rack
Opting for Zinnemann Todd-AO plains of Oklahoma
Lost my heart to hairy blond Gene Nelson
And when I showed him my teenage boner

He jumped my bones, then jumped 'em back again,
Then jumped 'em sideways just to show he could,
Then with my poor Baby Butt wasted by all these men
Still, I could not help showing wood

To lustful Gilbert Roland as he passed by
Pawing his own six yards of exposed chest hair
And when I caught his roving Hispanic eye
He vowed that he would put his legendary penis THERE

And THERE and THERE and even THERE
As I ruminated on the various possibilities
Kvelling on "Amigo" Roland's plentiful body hair
The True Me that lay in bed began to sneeze

Exhausted by my fantasies of Teenage Lust
Now, at sixty, remembering how my lesbian aunt
Had snorted with something resembling disgust
When I vowed to lay siege to Cary Grant!

Yes. Teenage Fantasies being what they are
Reality and age have brought me to a more insightful spin
For, by twenty-five, I had engaged many a lustful star
...and Cary was not quite the stud he might have been.

So, invoking Daymares on my rumpled chaise,
Give over all my fantasies of these and others
And, giving credence to What Every Mother Says,
I'm predisposed to hump the Baldwin Brothers!