WHAT THEY STOLE by Dennis Doph

because why? 46

They stole in like theives in the sultry night
To steal my beauty before it faded
Made what was profound merely stale and trite
And what was jealously guarded jaded;

They stole between we Guarded Two
And made Guarded One and One of us;
They took even the Taming out of my Shrew
Then made a genuine son-of-a-gun of us;

They scoffed at what we once thought was love
Gave us both black eyes -- each one a beaut
They took the Push out of Push Comes to Shove
And made an Ass out of what was most Astute

Made everything Light of the Light Fantastic
As if Fantastic was still a possibility
They turned what was Magic into Plastic
And stopped being civil about our incivility

They ran a relay between Here and There
And made Getting There more and more of a slog
They made our knees ache with every prayer
And split the Hair of the Hair of the Dog;

They gave my nose a helluva twist
Turned my lust to dust then resurrected it
They kissed me once where I needed to be kissed
Then fucked me hard when I least expected it;

They made me pray and they made me purr
They made what was left of my hair turn grey
And when they had made me worship what they were
They took even THAT and stole it away

They turned to pus what I thought was a prize
Turned my proud penis into an isthmus
They took the twinkle out of my cold blue eyes
And now, they make me say,
"Jesus Christ! Merry Christmas!"