CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MINOTAURS by D. Doph

because why? 35

In my perusals of abuse of Progressives
by professional Christian abusers
One wonders which of these Professional Christians
are lifelong marijuana users
They'd have to get high as kites
To play these abusive roles
And pursue these primitive abusive rites
Like classic certified Assholes

Perfect example of the above
Is Senator Chuck Grassley of IoWay
Whose idea of predatory behavior
Is being connected with the good ole USA
Why do these lousy motherfuckers
Who are up to their bony butts to us in debt
Exhibit even worse kinds of predatory behavior
Than anything we've invented -- yet
So when this squinty-eyed old Minotaur
Holds up for a lousy healthcare compromise
We should all kick his bony Minotaur ass
along with a bunch of other guys

Like handsome tall Max -- Montana's favorite Baucus
whose call for 65% voter approval
Is way beyond compromise or caucus
Though he has run temperatures at Helena and Butte
way above normal
In Washington he is not really so terrif
He may be running around with a poky boner
But to us he's just another Senatorial stiff

Then there's Michelle Bachmann
Loony-tunes from the Loony Fringe
of South Minnesota
Claims God gave her a mission to be
a House of Reps solon
So
Day by day she pursues her liberal-bashing quota
This spavined ugly Minnesota Mom
Is a classic Minotaur with all the trimmins
She's enough to rise any liberal's gorge
Like an overdose of poison vitaminnins

Now let us deal with Clusterfox Michelle Malkin
Prime time diva and professional female clown
Drools over her endless liberal-whacking chores
Like a sick dog begging to be put down
We all see the madness in those inscrutable Oriental eyes
Watching and waiting for every turn of every trick
But this Mommy Minotaur just isn't very wise
Since her every move telegraphs to us
she is just fucking sick

Lastly
We have to deal (once again) with the former
Governor of Alaska
Fresh from lecture triumphs in downtown Hong Kong
Even the GOPollsters lecture bureau
Cannot book her in Manitoba or Athabaska
Because she just cannot be anything but wrong
Out there
Cynically flogging her magnum opus Going Rogue
Which in Alaska signifies a rabid wolf
This morally brain-dead idiot needs to be stranded
on an iceberg off of Nome
slowly melting into the Bering Gulf
We can reflect providentially
As we watch this bitch drifting out to sea
She was not foisted on all of us true Americans
as a Christian Science Minotaur veepee