GROPED BY DONALD DUCK by Dennis Doph

touchdown jesus. 16

In exurban Delaware County
out by the Pennsy-Wilmington state line
April Magalon was trollin' the kids thru
Epcot Center, rockin' on her wedgies,
feelin' pretty fine
When, in a moment of madness,
A Disney employee feeling way up on his luck
Groped pretty April's snatch (with gladness)
While costumed as Donald Duck.

Kids went scattering (what the fuck!)
April found herself dissolved in tears
She hadn't been groped by a man
let alone a duck
For half a dozen fruitless years.
So the Duck she cursed and scolded
While Epcot security she neatly dodged
All the while checking out her pussy
To make sure her tampon string was not dislodged.

Two gropeless years later, April,
Steamin' in her life of stress,
Became a professional Disney-hater
In her miasma of gropelessness.
And though the neighborhood butcher
Invited April for a little fling
She wouldn't let the sucker touch her
Preferring a bit more Donald-fingering.

So! Though no man (or duck)
Chose April's Jive Box to intrude
April got up a bunch of pluck
And Disney Corporation neatly SUED.

Even though April remained aloofy
Japping out her blue balls spouse
She'd rather get a goose from Goofy
Or a tiny muff dive from Minnie Mouse.