EXCLAMATION POINT by Dennis Doph

but I survived. 7

AN EXCLAMATION POINT LOOKING FOR A SENTENCE*

Headlines and salient points from main news stories, the New
York Times, Wednesday, June 9, 2010

AFGHAN STRATEGY SHIFTS TO CIVILIAN PROJECTS
The very word, "offensive" has been banished. "It is actually
a partnership operation", says General Sher Karzai.

Sure. If you relish a partnership with a known criminal and
drug profiteer.

TURKEY GOES FROM PLIABLE ALLY TO THORN FOR U.S.
"Americans, no matter what they say, cannot get used to a new
world where regional powers want to have a say in global politics."

So: they have a problem with Zionists offing Palestinians? Bring
back the Ottoman Empire! -- and Joe Ferrer riding side-saddle
in a Rolls.

ABORTION DRUGS GIVEN IN IOWA VIA VIDEO LINK
with the click of a mouse, milepristone (RU-486) meant to end
pregnancy, can be had on the Internet.

Anything would be better than living in Iowa.

LEGACY FOR ONE BILLIONAIRE: DEATH,BUT NO TAXES
Dan Duncan, big game hunter and the 74th richest man in the world,
has had his enormous estate exempted by Congress' newest tax lapse.

Just get very dumb, very rich, and kill lots of animals. They'll love ya
on the Beltway!

ON THE CUSP OF NOBILITY, AFTER A LIFE OF OBSCURITY
Jose Collando, a trumpeter in Marbella, has learned he's the illegitimate
son of enormously wealthy Marquis de Larios.

Watch out where you stow the pork, boys! They'll inspect your DNA --
even when you're already dead.

MEXICO: BORDER SHOOTING CASUES TENSION WITH U.S.
The State of Chihuahua condemned the killing of teenager Sergio
Guereca, calling it a blow to all Mexicans and an example of xenophobia.

How seriously can we take the accusations of a state named after a
hairless lap dog?

CLINTON SEEKS TO MEND FRAYED TIES IN ECUADOR
Venturing into Quito, one of Latin America's less friendly capitals,
Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton declared that the Obama
Administration was intent on having better relationships in this region.

And if not --? Bill has boss ties with the FARC insurgency in Colombia.

ON INDIA'S DANGEROUS ROADS, DEATH TOLL TOPS WORLD
73 people were killed on just one mile stretch of road, earning it the
nickname, Expressway of Death.

Too many bodies in India! Drive, baby, drive!

BLAGOJEVICH WAS LED ASTRAY, LAWYER TELLS JURORS
A lawyer for Rod Blagojevich offered jurors here a first impression
of his client: an insecure man, serial telephone dialer, a C student
who surrounded himself with people he never should have trusted.

Like: who ever designed that HAIR.

BERNADETTE PETERS AND ELAINE STRITCH TO STAR IN
"NIGHT MUSIC"
Broadway gay-icons Peters and Stritch will replace Catherine Zeta-
Jones and Angela Lansbury in the Sondheim perennial.

Come with a face mask. The theater will be reeking of amyl nitrite,
particularly when Stritchie moans, "Liasons".

Reading a real live newspaper can be wonderful.

*thanks to MSNBC stalwart Rachel Maddow for this blurb.