VERMIN IN SPACE by Dennis Doph

because why? 54

In these foul times where everything is peculiar and downright odd
Hairy-faced Iranian President Achmed Ahmedinejad
To secure the Persian Presence in the interplanetary race
Sent a ten foot rocket filled with vermin into outer space.

In it were ten water snakes, three turtles, and one very confused rat
Peering vacuously out into Space -- wondering where they were at
Wondering why all they knew of Mother Earth had come and quickly gone
While they watched the receding mountainscape of the Shiite Kingdom Iran

Meanwhile
Forty-one Republican senators trumpeted this latest Obamaesque disgrace
Having ceded our Royal Imperative in Conservative Outer Space
And Mitch McConnell (R-KY) sent forth his own special hoot of "Drat!"
As he contemplated three turtles, ten water snakes, and one very confused rat

But my own Progressive solution to this fucked-up political situation
Is to have a Human rocket launcher next to every Teabag station,
All the Enemies of the State dolled up with little Party hats,
Perkin' on simple sugar syrup and J-Lube like Ahmedinejad's lab rats.

First we have Rahm Emmanuel, his dick trussed up with the most painful of twine,
Stuffed with a recirculating butt plug, looking scared but fine,
Screamin' fucking retarded liberals from time to time,
Balls wrapped with silver solder so they clatter and they chime,

Then fat Virginia Foxx from Ole Virginny wired to the gonads of Rahm,
Fulminating about Crucified Fags with her old Grandmommy Charm,
Dugs duded out in a pointy bra -- but she's really run out of luck, man,
As she takes her place on the screaming face of ever-furious Michelle Bachmann

Recirculating cable of Piss Stream wired up Bachmann's hairy ass
As she throws a vengeful Hissy Fit about the Census -- showing a certain lack of class
Pisses and moans about Nasty Male Bones and gives thanks for a Vengeful Lord
As the cable 'round her flanks passes down around the shanks of carpetbagger
Harold Ford

So Emmanuel pisses a steady stream -- a hearty Mandarin hue
And it enters Foxx' vulva like a Piss Revolver in a stream so strong and true
Then Foxx pisses like a Rhino in Heat and gives Bachmann a jolt of Yellow
Bachmann contracts like a cobra, and ejects like a jolly good dyke playfellow

As the pulsing stream of their serially shared piss gives them all a mutal dialysis
They mutter of THAT and they moan of THIS
Their buttplugs pump while they really get the jist

Sister Sarah sinks amongst them with her smartly blond-streaked bangs
Noticing how low the soldered balls of Rahm Emmanuel hangs
So Sarah passes over to Foxx her sedated Mongoloid Tot
Accepting the turgid Tool of Ford in her micturating twat

A Clusterfuck in Space!
What a disgrace -- fed by constant body effluvia
The Mongoloid Tot has his first Baby Boner -- what the hell could be groovier?
Bob Gates throws the switch on the rocket fuel -- to send this crowing crew to Pluto
Foxx presses the Tot to her waist-bumping dugs
Bachmann's Olive Oyl to Virginia's Musky Bluto

Blowing wild among the planets, circulating piss as they go
Bestowing some Yellow upon Larry Craig as they pass over Idaho
Our mismatched collection of American Vermin in Conservative Outer Space
Leaving a slipstream of piss all over Connecticut
and Joe Lieberman's smiling face
Pulsing, contracting, contracting, pulsing
More lethal and much more odd
Than the interplanetary hurdles of those three stong turtles
of Achmed Ahmedinejad