GLORIFYING YOUR INNER FEEB by D. Doph

because why? 55

Dum de dum dum was the musical phrase
We sang to each other in "Dragnet" days
We pooped into our little baby didies
Getting all wet to these terse Joe Fridays

Now dum de dum is the American Dream
For the Perenially Stupid who never had enough steam
In the Intelligence Quotient they were perpetually dundered
With their IQ-level, sub-one hundred

Each American Dunce is dum de dummed
By any show of intelligence, totally bummed
Thus we were able to ditch smart John Kerry
For Baby Bush, with the pit of a cherry
One of our favorite Dum de dum dears
The Cherry Pit lodged firmly
between his Alfred E Newman ears.

Now out of Massachusetts has come handsome Scott Brown
The latest swell addition to Washington Town
His profile and his body are heaven sent
But his intelligence quotient is distinctly low rent
So he will be the Republican Poster Boy
The Dum de Dummer for us to enjoy
Now that Dum de Dum Sarah has taken the count
We need another juicy Dum Ass to mount.

Like Jesus-thumpin' Laura Silsby who sells baby flesh
To Wholesome American Heteros whose DNA don't mesh
She kidnapped eight Haitian babes in Port-au-Prince
Her international incident makes us all dance
The Baby Turkey Trot with a cattle prod
...Laura ascribes her shitty practices to God.
The only phrase to represent this baby-snatcher scum
Is the old Joe Friday Dum de Dum.

Portugal and Ireland and all the Isles of Greece
Set up unsecured mortgages for their debt to increase
Before the EU could set up a signal Halt
These Dum de Dum money launderers went into default.
Now they subsist on rotten praties and dead beef jerky
And pray they might be bailed out by Serbia or Turkey.

Sulky Sister Sarah pines at Wasilla's Gate
Mooning at what she thinks is Russia over the Bering Strait
Rush Limbaugh sweats off another twenty Fat Slob Lards
Congratulating Rahm Emmanuel for "Liberal Retards"
Glenn Beck adds another Turn of the Screw
Can Obama be Racist and Socialist too?

Dum de Fucking Dum for each Troglodyte Dweeb
Each glorifying his very special Inner Feeb
They have no qualms with no brains to scrimp
Glorifying their pooping butts while their dicks are limp
But the problem with visiting these Dum de Dum places
...They expect us to take their Dum poop in our faces.