HUFF & PUFF by Dennis Doph

because why? 63

Lily McGinty of Iowa City; short, cute, smart and pretty
Valedictorian of Iowa High; kinda sweet in the Sweet Bye & Bye
Lily has gone to where no one can bluff her;
For in her Senior Year Lily became a Huffer.

Her cousin Rhoda, older, and much much bolder
Laid her RouX'd head on Cousin Lily's shoulder
Knew Lily had tried grass and found it wanting
Found smack and even crack undaunting
Rhoda whipped out a pint of paint thinner; inviting Lil
to rough it,
Lil and Rhoda proceeded to strap on plastic bags
and Huff it.

The result made Lil emboldened and her panties
to slightly soil
She ran to Dad's garage and scrounged a pint of Pennzoil.
No sooner had Lil and Rho succumbed to Pennzoil's charms
They were insensate, licking, biting, in each other's arms
Though they'd learned that Huffing upped the Clit Distaff,
Huffing made both our gals more than slightly Sapph.

On subsequent days
The Huff made Tuff Lil more than a little Trollish
She crawled in Ma's closet and huffed a pint of Goddard's
Silver Polish.
Though she was faint and her tummy full of Gas-O
Unrepentant, she reached for a jar of Brass-O.
And through a haze -- rejecting all of Iowa City Clannish
She snorted up a spoonful of granulated Vanish.

Lil has gone to join the Herd of Huffers in the Sky;
In Iowa City not one eye is dry,
Despite the fact that some might be squeamish or
kind of mean
They wondered why she'd neglected Mister Clean!