LITTLE GIRLS by Dennis Doph

beyond beyond. 53

On the op-ed page of the New York Times
stocked on all the drugstore shelves
The cover story is about little girls
who have dolls dressed like themselves
They've missed the point; these darling girls
like their dolls from stern to stem
Actually are the doppelgangers of their dolls
and designed to dress like them.

In days gone by (which I dimly remember)
we had Alan Ladd as a sailor
Clark Gable as almost anything;
Christopher Lee as Vlad the Impaler
Bill Holden with a hairy chest
and Bill Holden shaved and without
Brian Donlevy with his tweakable tits
as if there were any doubt
We had little Johnny Downs with his pouty look
Carleton Carpenter tall and fruity
And then James Dean who our senses shook
when any kook could be his cutie

Little Girls had virtually no one;
Shirley Temple was declasse'e
Margaret O'Brien had risen and fallen again
Doris had had her Day
Liz Taylor was the Great Enchantress;
for legions of Barbied and unboobed
Liz taught 'em to love chipmunks and horses
Till Elizabeth (fortunately) pubed

Then suddenly from that spunky little-girl form
with that squeaky little-girl voice
Exploded a pair of English knockers
like the fenders on a frenched Rolls-Royce
No more Precious Little-Girl Liz
like the flame on a zapped-up Ronson
Elizabeth became the carnal object
for Robert Taylor and Van Johnson

Now in our suddenly Re-Puritan day
Little Darlings reign supreme
Disney is the flavor of the new decade
Abby Breslin their new wet dream
But as John Huston told the little bitch
Who Columbia had selected to play Annie
"Dearest, you'd better learn how to suck
a thick fat cock
Than to tempt Dirty Old Men with your fanny".

Yes, Little Girls were meant to be fucked
and fucked and fucked again
Then on off days, they should be serially fucked
by even the grubbiest men
On Mondays they should be fucked
On Tuesdays they should be fucked
On Wednesdays buggered and raped
On Thursdays they should just go back to putting out
as the week is variously shaped
On Fridays they should go down on lesbians
as a way of shaping their craft
Saturdays they can put out for Liz Taylor's horse
if they think they've gotten the shaft
We will promote them to executive positions
While they are laying down corporate clout
They can put out for all us nasty men
Yes; Little Girls are always spoiled little brats
in the most remote of foreign lands
And they provide endless amusement for fags like me
tittering behind our hairy hands

RALPH NADER STINKS ON ICE by D. Doph

beyond beyond . 52

Once we all had prehensile tails but they've been gone
for ever so long
Stephen Foster was once the musical rage
he's forgotten on wings of song
Bette Davis was once a very young girl
everyone thought she was nice
Once Ralph Nader was politically correct;
but now he stinks on ice.

New Orleans was once the Queen of the River
now she sinks in a swamp
Christie Alley could once make me twink like a mink
she's now three hundred pounds of rump
Speaking of minks, those deplorable thinks
could never be eaten with rice
And the way a mink thinks is all knotted in kinks
like the way Nader stinks on ice

Our Afghansitan bases were once safe places
and W still lives in a bubble
A Guantanamo vet was once waterboard wet
but they're all in terrible trouble
I once was in love with my looking glass
but I'm tired of my terrible self
But there's nothing muleskinned as the stinking wind
when you get downwind of Ralph

Ralph Nader! Ralph Nader! What makes your arteries so hard
Dispensable Ralph Nader Just get back down in the yard
We once called you The Spoiler; and quaked in your presence
But now you're known as The Skunk with your putrified essence

So try to dump on Obama; he's more Teflon than Ronnie
No, Ralph; you're just old and that's not even funny
Your burrs attract curs and your flogger's not welting
And the ice on which you stink is casually melting

Let's forget about Ralph Nader The Spoiler of Old
His spikes have turned to rubber; the rest has gone to mold
He's sinking like the Titanic in a veritable trice
And in case you've forgotten the fucker is rotten
and he stinks to hell on ice.

COMFORTABLY OLD by Dennis Doph

Ahhhhhh
We dream of days gone by
Johnny Ma'Man
You were one hairychested handsome Navy-boy hunk
Covered forehead to hoof with an Annapolis tan
Daring
Even one plebe to come within three feet of your bunk
Those uncomfortable years
In the Hanoi Hilton Alone Aloof
Practicing glacial alonement
with your chastening glare
Emerging
Gloriously Teeth flashing A stud to the hoof
The look of immortals in your impreturbable stare

But now
You're Old Old Old Man Johnny
Thirty-five years older than your boyish opponent
Pretending you're The Man
Pretending you're nothing like toxic and phony
Logical successor to Team Bush
Oldness posing as comfortable atonement

You came back to the States
You dumped your first wife
Rose by the coattails of defeated Goldwater
In Sunbelt Arizona you spent most of your life
Married a beer heiress who looked more like your daughter
Entered the Senate
Rose plenty of gorge
Proclaiming loudly (sometimes shrieking)
You're the Man with a Difference
You got shaken out by the minions of George
Who claimed you got a Black Baby on the wrong side of the fence

Now you're Old Old Old Man John
Standing firmly behind all your enemy's mistakes
Even older than Ronnie when he rose to the Crown
You've stripped all your gears and lost most of your brakes
What you gained going up you have lost going down
Hairy-chested stud of yore gone like a breath
Seventysomething bulk draws you down into sleep
Totter into idolatry which is something like death
Rocked in the cradle of the Dubious Deep

So
Get into denial of the Young and the Raw
Those who hate your war; and your tremors and strokes
Stick seventy-two soft years in our craw
To be Comfortably Old doesn't mean you're Just Folks