SIMPLISTIC SARAH by Dennis Doph

beyond beyond . 62

It's Simplistic Sarah Tall and slim
Very much a Her and not a Him
The new puddle of moose poop that stupe John McCain has stepped in
Pretty as the Borden Cow
Never wondering Where or How
and she is ineluctibly (and productively) Vanilla
She's an ice hockey Mom
And she was queen of the prom
In disturbin' suburban Alaska (Wasilla).

She's a Fundamental Christer
with ALASKA on her Keister
Giving steamin' beamin' John McCain a vote of thanks
A suburban soccer moll
Who hates the metropolitan sprawl
of anxious Anchorage and fair Fairbanks

The Governor's Conference in PA
One swift trip to Se-Do-Nay
Are all the knows (or cares) of the Lower 48
She gets a huge amount of fun
as an NRA Top Gun
and there's never been a dead moose she would hate

Loves destroying the animal population
In her ferocious Arctic nation
Can't wait to start drilling the chilling Bering Sea
Her love for guns is miltaristic
But her primary characteristic
is her verve (right on the nerve) of Evangelistic Christianity

Never been to New York or even Seattle
Her greatest diplomatic battle
Is gazing across the Bering Strait to great
Siberia
As she's shooting from her stirrup
There's a chance that all of Europe
to her, is one totally unknown mysteria

So: Say hello to Sarah Palin
New Number One Gal Pal in
the woman-hating wilderness of the Republican Right
There's no question why McBush
Took this opportunity to push
This amazing Chippy-Cheep for Veep.
Man! Her plumbing is sooooooooooooooooooooo tight!

So to all you Hillarymaniacs
Anti-Barack insaniacs
Here's the new breed of Maggie Thatcher who'll give us her best shot
She can flaunt her sole endowment
What a deep Alaskan plow meant for this role:
a pre-menopausal twat.

Joe Biden's fifty years
with the little Beltway dears
Can be dismissed with a peremptory shrug
Sarah Palin has it all
As their Christian Party Doll
with her matching china .... her virtuous Vagina
and her fertile pubic rug

We wonder if this juicy jerk'll
Go ten rounds with Angie Merkel
But she sure has Bay Buchanan tootin' ... and deeply rootin'.
From her frozen Juneau shoal
can she (like GWB) look into the soul
of sinister Prime Minister Vlad Tutin?

Oh Ignorance! Your innocence is such sweet bliss
When confronted with simple souls such as this
As she thrusts her pubing son "Track" into Iraqi cry and hue
And sits back with McCain for a tasty helping of moose stew

THE GLOVES ARE OFF by Dennis Doph

beyond beyond . 61

"We are at War"
intoned bull necked CIA director Tenet
Since We are at War
that could justify anything
Repeat: Anything
The CIA wanted to do
To purge our environment of our frightening enemies
To force Enemy Aliens
to rat out other Enemy Aliens
The gloves were off
David Addington Dick Cheney's muscular bearded lieutenant
Advocated extreme forms of coercion
Especially torture
John Yoo Right wing policy wonk from Pepperdine
Called Geneva Conventions "quaint"
Which of course was picked up by the Administration's
professional parrot Alberto Gonzales

In early 2002 the CIA detained a Canadian citizen
Mohammed Arar
Born in Syria naturalized in Canada
As he left a business meeting in New Jersey
on his way home to Toronto
He was led peacefully to a silver private plane
Leased over and over again for extraordinary renditions
By a CIA subsidiary Jepperson
which operates out of a Boeing hangar in Everett Wash

Arar
Was taken first to Washington DC then to Bangor Maine
They fed him the best shish-kebabs Told him friendly stories
The plane went to Rome then Amman Jordan
Arar knew something pretty snaky was up
It landed in Damascus

Two weeks before Bush decided Syria was Number Three
on the famous Axis of Evil
Evidently not evil enough not to be prized by the CIA
for the efficiency of their torture chambers

Arar
Entered the edifice known as Far-Falasin
aka "The Grave"
Spent the next three years in a body slot
no longer than his own forearm
There was a grid above where cats urinated on him
Slots across the floor made it possible for rats and roaches
To roam across his feet So they could ingest prized cat piss

Arar
Was forced for over a year to accomodate
Larger and larger foreign objects up his ass
Till it was bleeding 24 hours a day
He was hung from the cieling
had electroshock cables attached to his testicles
Had his shins whipped with two inch steel cables
till he was no longer able to stand
After three years of this he was capable of telling his interrogators
anything

He did

All the time his wife was trying frantically to have
The Canadian government intercede with the US State Department
to no avail
State had been left out of the Torture Loop
as prescribed by Addington
Finally
In mid 2005 the Canadian government forced Syria
to release Arar After he had "confessed" to a mindless gobbledygook
"Admittance" of terrorism
Canada paid Arar $10.5 million for his pains
While he is still listed as an Enemy adversary
by Justice and State

All of which was taken very seriously by State
Colin Powell went before the United Nations
Made his blundering speech linking Al Qaeda to Saddam
All based on these lies and many others

Everything in our society as we know it is based on lies
People who've never served in the military
direct our military strategy
People who have no background in law
dictate our legal memoranda
People who have no more than a passing interest in government
govern us
People who think the Constitution is something to be pissed upon
like the cats on the grid
teach classes in Constitutional Law

We are the Worst of the Worst
Here we have a bull necked cancer ridden old man
Who had been tortured for five years by Vietcong
advocating torture
America
Is thrilled by these sadists and their bullyboy tactics

Unless of course
They are the ones who take the free shish-kebab flights
to Far-Falasin

I expect it to be my destination one of these days
One of my casual email buddies incensed
by my left-wing rant
Will rat me out to the CIA

How many old crypto-liberal fags can they stack up
on the filthy roach-ridden floor of Far-Falasin?

As many as our leaders like
In the name of patriotism
and anti-terrorist necessity

The gloves are off

Yes

They are

WE ARE ALL GEORGIANS by Dennis Doph

beyond beyond . 60

Yeah The thicknecked stump bodied presidential candidate
Stood as tall as he can stand being only five six and a bit
With tears in his rheumy eyes he cried out
"We are all Georgians!"

Then proceeded to whip it up delighting the miserable folk
In Eau Claire or Kenosha or whichever fucked-over rustbelt town
He was campaigning
"We are all Georgians!"

Shit John Till only a week ago most Americans thought
There was a new political phenomenon going on
There north of Florida South of the Carolines
But it is just the usual bullshit

"We are all Georgians!"

Goes hand in hand Foot in mouth With that other catchphrase

"Drill here! Drill now!"

That poor sap Mikhail Shaakshivili Poor dumbed out former buttboy
for the American Enterprise Institute Johnny-on-the-Spot
In that cultural backwater Tiblisi God how much America cares
about the Sovereign Republic of Georgia Like hell

Condi and George and Gates greased the skids for Shaakshivili
Goaded him into being our White Knight Georgian Don Quixote
Charging the gates of the Evil Empire Suddenly it's news
South Ossetia Abkhazia Places most Americans never in their lives
have heard of They have been de facto part of Russia for twenty years

Only the old artificial boundaryline set at the Versailles Conference
way back in '17 Determined South Ossetia would be Georgian
North Ossetia Russian Omigod All the oil rich Sultans of Russian petrobusiness
Have had their summer dashas in Abkhazia for fifty years

Still Mikhail Shaakshivili hoisted on his own petard By our leaders
Like a fat cocktail sausage skewered on a Korean frill toothpick
Charged South Ossetia with his antiquated army of mavericks
Hoping against hope Condi would come riding to the rescue on her Hummer
...but she never came

-"We are all Georgians!"

Sure
As the plump little man rushes about waving his pudgy hands Screeching

"Drill here! Drill now! We are all Georgians!"

Yes we are all Georgians We are all Georgians in the sense that we have
This endless appetite to be gulled by our fearless leaders Who don't give
Jack Shit
About the Republic of Georgia other than its being a stick in the eye to Moscow

It's a good distraction
While Iraq is fracturing Afghanistan ready to implode Pakistan ready
to go ballistic
We can go back to playing the Good Old Cold War Game Russia Fear

So get out there John Do your usual rant While your skanky wife
Tries to keep the true profits of her beer millions out of the papers
You guys in the national press have really given this pumped-up Navy Brat
a free ride

"We are all Georgians?"

Bullshit

We are all lemmings headed for the cliff while Joe Lieberman
Skinny Sancho Panza from Connecticut keeps reminding John
Which countries are Sunni and which Shiite Like any of these
Cocksuckers
Cared Cheney never did Rumsfeld never did Condi knew
But she pretended it didn't matter Now they all go about
Screaming with their hair on fire

"We are all Georgians!"

I am not Georgian
I am one of 300 million disenfranchised Americans and I'm heading
for the bathroom to fwow up
Because too much of tiny Georgia just got stuck in my craw

PRECIOUS THINGS I LOVE by Dennis Doph

beyond beyond . 59

I love to enter a dance floor in a tuxedo
and wind up losing my fanciest pants
Love to start dancing with a beautiful woman
then commence groping the backside of a nance
Love to think of all the nasty things I know
and put them all in this one little space
Love to hit the sack with four strong men
and have them all (sequentially) sit on my face
Love to rub my face with the white of an egg
though nowadays the effort is mostly in vain
Love to get into a very conservative crowd
then say disgusting things about John McCain
You may never have heard a more encouraging word
when I'm comforting a new widow who's all bereft
Then I struggle into a pair of loose silk pants
and let Junior do His pendulum from right to left
Love to get between a pair of high keyed gals
so I can enjoy the excitement between Her and Her
Love to shag a really hairy old fella
so I can lose my knuckles in his grizzly fur
Love to have adventure after dangerous adventure
because my alter ego dotes on diversity
Love just about anything by Woody Allen
because I enjoy his eternal perversity
Love to share a bong with a company of stone freaks
love to watch 'em get higher and higher
The only thing I loved about Tropic Thunder
is when Downey got down on Tobey McGuire
Love to play with a fresh split of champagne
and cover all my putative lovers with its fizz
Love to fib about my Oh so elusive age
and make you wonder just how old the fucker really is
Showed up at Ronald Reagan's funeral in Simi Valley
just to make sure the old fool was dead
And of all the Precious Things I really love
I really love balling a man's brains out through the top of his head
Because I'm such a good guy Such a nice guy
the last image I'll leave you with before I retire
Is that I love to share these Precious Things I adore
And .... Oh! Have I told you? I may be a great lover
but I'm an even better liar