EXCUSE ME GOLDMAN SACHS by Dennis Doph

Touchdown Jesus. 37

Oh!
Excuse me dearest partners of the fearsome Goldman Sachs
It's a wonder your collective poop chute can ever quite relax
Don't mean to interrupt your appetite for chowing down your derivatives
As you cash out your endowments and unzip your manly privatives
We have given you a license to wheel & deal and profit while you play
As you piss on all the rest of us in the admiring USA
Bill Clinton gave the go ahead for your operations to be international
Baby Georgy stroked your hairy butts to make the effort that much more passional
Now Poppy O has got to go and hire Lawrence Geithner
Who is not exactly the avatar of a fiscal sphincter tightener
And the Daley scion from Chicago Zion may be a quicker picker upper
They all climb into the bed of the local Fed when they chow on down for supper
And the light brown bum of our favorite Crumb is their tastiest way to go
Displaying the amplomb of his Oahu Grandmom as their appetites grow & grow
While we are in arrears to these little dears This is time to twist and shout
As they surf the breakers in the Turks and Caikers they all yell, "Cash it out!"

So forget about the scandal of the way they handle the affairs of Dick and Rummy
There is nothing as delectable as the ghastly spectacle of a President on his tummy!

IMPLACABLE by Dennis Doph

Touchdown Jesus. 36

I had an implacable dream last night
Of a most implacable sort
I was up against an implacable judge
In an implacable sort of court
and when the Judge came to sentence me
In his most implacable way
He groped me and sent me spinning madly
Right into the implacable hay

For we all must be implacable
As we make our way through life
Seducing each implacable husband
Putting the horns on each implacable wife
Buttering our implacable two minute toast
Reaching for another implacable kipper
Getting our cock caught once again
In this fucking implacable zipper

And we row, and row, like Montgomery Clift
Across this implacable lake
Listening to the Song of the Implacable Loon
As Monty goes on the implacable make
And we know, while we make like the Badass Gal
Though even Shelley knew the role would stink
That Monty will button up his implacable chest
And dump our ass into the implacable drink.

So we shudder as we follow the headlines
And press garlic into our butter
That Hillary will kick ass once again
As she travels from Dubai to Qatar.
And I'm not fantasizing in my implacable way
As I take one more implacable toke
That John McCain will finally shuffle it off
When he has that implacable wonderful stroke.

So row, row, me Hearties,
And never turn into a sot
Even when the pain of life is intense
And you feel you've turned into an implacable twat.
For the Bar is becoming more Sinister
As you seem more and more like a slut
And Bob Mitchum becomes your implacable minister
And kicks your implacable butt.

BABY WANTS TO KILL by Dennis Doph

touchdown jesus. 35

Jared Loughner rose dyspeptic on the morning of January 8
In the mirror Jared didn't look so great
His breath smelled less than antiseptic
Jared checked out his trusty Glock, resting next to his trundle bed
In a house where superstition bred
While his teachers went right into shock
Baby Jared never searched for sperm to spill
Baby was a liberal hater. Baby was a Glock-masturbator
On the morning of January 8 when nothing was going really great
Baby wants to kill.

Jared went out to the Safeway at Ida Street
In the rolling meadows of Tucson Jared was not bulked or stiff with brawn
Jared, with his Glock, was quite complete
Gabby Giffords, Democratic Rep, he knew would be there
That lady who'd married one of those astronaut Kelly twins
Gabby would be punished for her Liberal sins
So: when Gabby arrived, with the Judge and her staff
Baby knew he couldn't stand the gaff.
Baby thought he would just throw a little scare

So he whipped out his Glock and sprayed the lot at Ida
First he drilled the Judge then he drilled a child beside a
Whole class of Social Studies kiddies studying democracy
Democracy in Action was a study of which he
Was (courtesy of the NRA) particularly astute
The NRA teaches you: what you hate, you shoot.

So does Sarah Palin and Jan Brewer when she isn't dissing
Immigrants and ne'er-do-wells who might shortly be missing
Their lungs, their livers, and probably their hearts
Jan Brewer isn't one of those hug-a-tree Liberal tarts
Jan Brewer is a STRONG WOMAN out of the Teaparty mold
As a STRONG WOMAN she knows her mission is to scold
Anyone who might digress from Conservatism in Arizona
(perhaps) even a boy who mistakes his Glock for a boner

So Jared shot. And he shot. And he shot. And he shot.
The Judge fell dead and kiddies in the class were sprayin' snot
Gabby Giffords fell dismayed with her dead assistant by her side
as Gabby Giffords fell she wasn't feelin' any pain
Jared Loughner had drilled her right through her nasty Liberal brain

Now
The chips are down, my Hearties. More blood will surely spill
We live in a nation unnatural and haunted
Our world is full of crazies who want just what Baby wanted
When Baby decided what he wanted was to kill.

PUBLIC ANTHEM by Dennis Doph

Pity the poor boy who remains a child and never
Buys into his Package like the Wild Boys of the Road
Who hides behind his Lego Blocks -- meek and mild forever
Never lets the Bad Boys pull off another messy load
Never lets the Bad Boys take him behind teacher's back
Never lets 'em pull down his crapped-out pants
Always nice, Disneyfied, and really, REALLY stack
What he has got 'gainst what they have got
And join the public dance

Like me! Me! Another Public Anthem
Hear the din as they sing my sin along the dusty years
Never a mouse, more of a louse, the kind of Nasty Man some
Men take on a roll , then they troll
Him away among all those Forgotten Queers

Lay your hands on the Poor Boy and make him brag and beg up
To the Shieks and Sharks in the public parks who won't give him a leg up
Let him scarf and suck Hind Tit
To the horny old Grand-Dads who just want IT
Give up to all the badboys who admire his buns
Keep on jerkin' down his 501s
Use horehound to coat his nice deep throat
raunchin' & rollin' for romance

Like me! Me! Another Public Scandal
Used my big thick Kraut Dick to become a Man of Means
Shout VA-VOOM, biggest one in the room, big & strong & handsome
And just shout FUCK! when my zipper stuck
As I gave it out to all those Tanktown Queers

Accept the tongue of the Poor Boy as I probe into your palate
Let me into the Fridge of Breckinridge as I shack up in your chalet
Never you think I'm a Bear Barnstormer
As I use my ass for a coffee warmer
Maybe you think I've lost a screw
As we recirculate our Co2
I'm a Panzer who shore knows how to prance

Just me! Me! The Anthem that's gone public
As I forcefuck your larynx and pulverize your brain
I'm so RUFF and TUFF as I publicize this rubric
Make you take your mansex break on the edge of what's insane
I'll be your clown Invite you to Chow Down
I'm the Tailgunner who's tailed you all these years

So just be like me! Like Me! Like Me! Like Me!

TRUTH, JUSTICE by Dennis Doph

Touchdown Jesus. 32

Went to the airport for my island hiatus
Encountered an amazing act of afflatus
Had to take off my blue suede shoes
Get ass grabbed in my Moody Blues
Then a grandpa who looked like a stocking stuffer
Shoved my big bear ass into a hot air fluffer
Sent me into a state of shock
Curled my hair and fried the O ring in my cock
While I was being parboiled for Goodbyee
I was certified as Pure for Blue Hawaii
I sighed as I fried under my Scope-Wide lei
This is Truth, Justice and the American Way
Truth, Justice and the American Way
Truth, Truth, Truth, and Justice, Justice, Justice
and the American Way!

Obama thought he'd pulled the neatest trick
When he gave the go-ahead to Michael Vick
Though Vick flogged his dogs down to a thump and a twitch
Barry thought we should forgive the son of a bitch
But he got another little Christmas bangle
When he felt Boehner's teeth in his skinny little ankle
Vick is never gonna have another chance to bust us
'Cause he's all whacked out over American Justice
Soiled and parboiled over American Justice
The black boy will never have another chance to trust us

Hefner la Hugh the Nonagenarian
Has always had a thing for Dollies Aryan
He sure got himself a little Stingaree
When he hitched up with a Dolly of twenty-three
Hef could get put into Playboy Heaven
When he finds how often 23 goes into 87
But he gives Darlin' Dolly all that he is able
And leaves his teeth in a jar on the table
Poor Hef if lef' with nary a tooth
When he eats Babe Pussy for American Truth

The Elephant staggered up to the return counter
Exchange lady thought the beast was about to mount her
The Beast was just about to mount this tenet
And return all Obama's gifts from the Senate
Even though most of the ideas were theirs
There's only one thing paramount in their prayers
To exchange all these gifts for a handkerchief honker
And put Mitt Romney in the Casa Blanca
And in case his Magic Underwear lacks in class
He'll have fat Mike Huckabee ridin' his ass
And I know you think my New Year's poem is crass
So just wait for McConnell to pass his gas!
There's no way these Republicans can disgust us
When they disguise their ploys as American Justice
Even though they've mauled and frequently mussed us
We can suck Hind Tit for American Justice!